|
| I now have a new xanga, but only a select few will know what it is. Ask, and I shall tell. I do not want this spilling into it.
| | |
| I did let him go, and you know what? I plan on
seeing Chris in March for my birthday. Whatever, I HAVE stopped
commenting and am just posting what I feel...Here's a thought, I have
stopped, so why don't you? If you wish for me to stop commenting on
your xanga, stop posting in mine.
That's all I have to say, if there is another comment, I will just leave it be and move along.
And on a side note, my now ex was not the one I wanted to have kids with.
| | |
| My gods, I try to be nice and it blows up in my
face...No Jen, I am not happy that you two are broken up, not this
time. *Sigh* I spoke what I felt and if me wanting the best for you two
is such a bad thing, I am sorry. Yes, I made a mistake last time, and I
learned from it. Look, I don't want to start a fight, that is not what
my comment was intended for...I was trying to be supportive of you
both, but you wouldn't let me...Please though, do not start a fight
with comments on my xanga anymore, that goes for everyone...I will not
delete them, I am not that spiteful or bitter, but I would appreciate
it if I was not in the middle of bitterness.
| | |
| Alright, after about 3 hours
together, Erick and I have ended, it had been coming for a while, but I
couldn't stand to trouble him during both his birthday, and Christmas,
they fall too closely together. Apparently he knew this would happen
the day we met...But he still took me in and loved me...Told me I was
worth it and if he could go back in time, he wouldn't change a thing.
He was not bitter, or angry...He was surpisingly calm and strong for
me. He told me he would always love me and would be here for me, even
though we are no longer together...Even if I wanted him back, he would
take me in, but that would be foolish...Sure, having a safety net is
nice, but very naive. He believes I am the only one for him and he'll
never find another like me, even if he searches, but I can't see that
as being true. I was apparently the first to ever accept him as he is,
and see past his flaws, perhaps that was his mistake...I accept
everyone as they are...Well, as long as they aren't a jackass or
anything like that...It could've been my unconditional love, I still
love him, I love everyone I know, and my love is unconditional, it's
the only kind I know. It's just not that true love, the love that
brings a spark to your being, that extra boost in your life.
I don't
know why he didn't tell me if he saw it coming, probably because I
never would have been with him as more than friends to avoid the pain.
We, well I, cried for a good while, he almost did...Then we got over
the pain and just talked, laughed, and even just enjoyed each other's
company. The worst feeling I have about this whole ordeal is he will be
waiting for me, and only wants my happiness to be fulfilled...Even if
it's not with him...My smile is worth more to him than anything else he
could imagine and he tried to make me smile as much as he could today;
perhaps to savor those moments and remember my smile, not my frown. He
told me he would be here to mend my broken soul if ever I could open my
heart and allow such a thing to be done...He just wished he could have
been the one to open my heart that has been closed ever since I can
remember. My heart that has always had a whole filled with apathy from
my past, a makeshift shield to protect myself from pain I fear I could
not endure.
| | |
| For all those who wish to lie, fight, or decieve me I shall no longer infect your life with my presence. Cease communication for it will as of this second, be futile. Just let me be and I will be there and care for the ones who actually see me for who I am.
Au revoir | | |
|
